How do you want to live your life?

Hi, I’m Claire. I’m a 27 year old girl from Cleveland, Ohio but certainly global citizen works too. I’m a straight up blonde (yes one of those toe heads when a child) with my very own clone (aka identical and very beautiful herself 🙂 ). I’m a light hearted, compassionate person with a stubborn and sensitive side, an epileptic for nearly 6 years resulting to becoming a runner aspiring to live more healthfully and mindfully. I often dream about traveling and believe that serving is one of my strong suits. I’m someone you’ll find singing in the car every single time and more importantly can make a pretty damn good cup of coffee full of TLC.

Being the age I am, I am proud of all the accomplishments I have made so far in my life. But I find that I have come to an interesting point– when pivotal events society expects us to undergo in our lifetime begin to happen. These include relationships turning into engagements, marriage, having babies or fur babies, new home owners and career oriented achievements. Although I am happy to see many friends and family members reach these experiences and flourish, I find myself here … with none of them fulfilled.

So why am I not experiencing them like they are, shouldn’t I be?!

2018 has been a year I did not expect to start the way it has. It decided to slam the brakes on my comfortable and relatively happy life that I thought I knew what direction it was heading. But here comes insecurity, doubt and the realization I have been stressfully eager to “catch up” with everyone else arrive all at once. These thoughts and emotions have now led me to cross roads, major decisions to be made and much change to come in my life. And honestly, change is not a thing that comes easy to me. It’s times like these we must go places inside ourselves that are not necessarily welcomed with open arms. Where difficult questions are and the truth of their answers no matter how hard they may be to accept reside. One question I’ve had to ask myself is even a struggle to say out loud sometimes … you know what that question is?

“How do you want to live your life?”

Uhhhh like, can someone just answer that question for me? Or wave a wand or shake a magic 8-ball and take care of business?

It’s something I’ve allowed myself to ignore for a long time, but what I have slowly come to realize (and with the support I have in my life repeating that question to me often) that it’s not the anticipated life events that I am lacking or need to fulfill to find myself, but it’s the lack of fulfilling love and respect for myself. Anyone or anything can come and go in your life, but you are the only one that you live with until the very end, so you must love your whole self and be true to who you are. No matter how hard, painful or sometimes even lonely the journey may be, that I certainly do not want to look back on my life and regret anything I did or did not do to fulfill my aspirations, dreams and passions. No person’s path is the same on this planet and we all need to stand tall and follow our own with truth and love.

So while exploring and finding MY answer(s) to this question, I figured I should just start writing/blogging. It is a promise made to myself to write as much as I can this year (which is something I will explain in my next post). My goal is for this blog to be a vessel to express myself and promises I make and keep, my thoughts and with hope of people relating and sharing their stories too.

Here’s to day one of my well-being story, it’s time to heal and learn to truly love myself 🙂

 

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